September: Happy Cat Month

(As Declared by My Cat, Princess Gracie)

Hello, loyal subjects. It is I, Princess Gracie, here to announce that September is officially Happy Cat Month—a holiday clearly invented in my honor (though I graciously allow other cats to participate).

Now, let’s set the record straight: every month is Happy Cat Month in my kingdom. But since humans apparently need reminders to worship their feline overlords properly, September will do.

The Rules of Happy Cat Month (Pay Attention, Humans)

Refill the Fountain. Frequently.
I don’t care if my water bowl looks full. It isn’t. It never is. Water must cascade like a mountain stream into my pristine fountain. You know I prefer it fresh, flowing, and dramatically presented.

Snacks on Demand.

Happy Cat Month requires unlimited treats. I recommend a rotation system, so I don’t get bored. Chicken, salmon, maybe a suspicious crinkly bag or two—surprise me.

Lap Time is Mandatory.
Your lap is not “yours.” It’s mine. If I want it at 3 AM, it shall be so. Cancel your chores. Cancel your life. My comfort takes priority.

Photograph Me, But Respectfully.

Yes, I am gorgeous. Yes, you may take pictures for the internet. No, you may not use flash. Paparazzi rules apply, and I retain veto power over all unflattering angles.

Obey the Nap Schedule.
My daily sixteen naps are non-negotiable. Do not disturb. If I stretch across the couch like melted butter, you sit somewhere else.

Final Decree
Happy Cat Month is not just about me being happy—it’s about you realizing that when I am happy, you are too. My purrs improve your health, my whiskers guide your path, and my judgmental stares keep you humble.

So, celebrate properly. Fetch the snacks, fluff the blankets, and acknowledge that you live in my kingdom.
Purringly yours,
Princess Gracie 👑

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

About the Author

Princess Gracie is a distinguished feline monarch specializing in napping, fountain-water critique, and the strategic art of meowing until her humans surrender snacks. When she’s not supervising household affairs from her throne (a.k.a. the back of the couch), she enjoys composing poetry that remind her purrental units of their rightful place in the hierarchy: beneath her paw.

Help Make Princess Gracie a Star

Of course you already know that Princess Gracie is a star, but she needs your help to get her dues in Modern Cat Magazine. She can win a photo shoot and editorial for that magazine. All she needs is votes. Please vote for her as Star Cat at the Modern Cat site. One can vote every 12 hours. If you have already cast your's, thank you!

Princess Gracie, the Cat Muse

My regular readers know that Princess Gracie, our cat, is a big part of my life. As any pet should be. She has also garnered some accolades along the line. She was mentioned on the local news in Virginia, she appears in a Denny Hamlin (Nascar driver) video and she "wrote" a blog for the official Brad Keselowski Nascar website.

Now she also appears in a book. Her picture is used in the Write to Meow 2014 Anthology. I submitted three cat poems for that book and they were, of course, all inspired by her. One of them was written for her especially: A Stretch and A Purr. I wrote this poem during a particularly challenging time. She was sunning herself on the window sill in a hotel room that functioned as our home at the time, and I needed to capture that particular moment so it would bring me, and others, joy in years to come.

You can order the Write to Meow 2014 Anthology on Amazon.

All proceeds will benefit the Almost Home Animal Shelter, a no-kill facility.

Human Versus Cat Round 13

Last week's NASCAR race took place in Sonoma. Yup, they had to turn right on a road course. Those fantasy picks picks are always tricky. I have no picture of how Gracie made her race picks because we had to bribe her with cat treats. We put them in the box so she had to dig for the paper balls. If you don't know what this is about, this post explains it.

Here are the picks that took her many hours to come up with:

39 (Ryan Newman)
48 (Jimmie Johnson)
13 (Casey Mears)
29 (Kevin Harvick)
30 (David Stremme)

Here is how it played out for Gracie: 58 points for Newman, 35 points for Johnson, 28 points for Mears, 34 points for Harvick and 8 points for Stremme for a total of 163 points. She is now ranked at the 41.4 percentile for all Nascar on Fox players with a total of 1,852 point. In the Brad Keselowski league she is 750 out of 1209. As always, keep in mind that her stats are skewed because she did not play the first 3 races of the season.

My picks:

15 (Clint Boyer)
99 (Carl Edwards)
14 (Tony Stewart)
16 (Greg Biffle)
9 (Marcos Ambrose)

Here is how the points played out for me:78 for Boyer, 41 for Edwards, 16 for Stewart, 36 for Biffle and 38 for Ambrose for a total of 209 points. I am ranked at the 70.3 percentile for all Nascar on Fox players with a total of 2,779 points. For the Ryan Newman league I rank 136 out of 413.

Human Versus Cat Round 12

Yes, I've been slacking off posting Nascar results. If you don't know what this series is about, this post explains it.

Actually, the Michigan race picks were quite interesting. Here is how it all played out:

Gracie's picks:

31 (Jeff Burton) 68 points
27 (Paul Menard) 30 points
78 (Kurt Busch) 10 points
5 (Kasey Kahne) 7 points
18 (Kyle Busch) 40 points

Total: 155 points.

Now, while this total might not seem impressive, she actually picked four drivers who practiced in the top 5. Too bad the race played out a little differently, but all were pretty strong drivers.

Her point total of  1689 moved her up slightly in the standings (for all Nascar on Fox league players) to 41.6 percent. In the Brad Keselowski league that ranked her 747 out of 1211. Remember that her stats are skewed because I did not have her "play" the first 3 races of the season.

My picks:

5 (Kasey Kahne) 14 points
99 (Carl Edwards) 37 points
88 (Dale Earnhardt) 8 points
16 (Greg Biffle) 48 points
22 (Joey Logano) 36 points

Total: 143 points

Dale Jr. blowing a motor killed my points, even though I picked the race winner (Greg Biffle) and guess what: The cat beat me by 12 points!

After this race, I dropped to 67.5 percent for all Nascar on Fox players with a point total of 2570 for the season. In the Ryan Newman league I was ranked 148 out of 412, another drop over last week.

Human Versus Cat Round 11

With the spring segment behind us, Gracie and I will now be on even pawing, err footing, when it comes to playing the NASCAR fantasy league on Fox. Why? Because she did not play the first three races of the spring segment because I had not thought of this crazy idea. If you want to know how all this started, this post explains it.

Anyway, race 1 (but round 11 for us) of the summer segment for the NASCAR on Fox fantasy league was Pocono. All of Friday's track action (rounds of practice and qualifying) was washed out, thanks to Tropical Storm Andrea, yet Gracie still made her picks enthusiastically.

55 (Mark Martin)
31 (Jeff Burton)
27 (Paul Menard)
15 (Clint Boyer)
42 (Juan Pablo Montoya)

That is an impressive list of picks. See, while only 43 drivers race, there are many more numbers of drivers out there in the box. I made it fair and we tossed in all the numbers of drivers who only make a few races, or start and park. So far, she has managed not to pick too many of those. On the rare occasion she happens to pick a number of a racer not in the race, we let her pick again.

Mine were not so easy to made because I often base my picks on what happened during practice and qualifying. I almost felt like digging randomly in the box. I did not, of course because that is Gracie's box. Here is what I came up with:

5 (Kasey Kahne)
99 (Carl Edwards)
88 (Dale Earnhardt Jr.)
16 (Greg Biffle)
29 (Kevin Harvick)

And how did this shake out? Gracie scored 50 for Martin, 33 for Burton, 14 for Menard, 29 for Boyer and 30 for Montoya for a total of 156. She dropped slightly overall to a 41.3 percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players and in the Brad Keselowski league to 748 out of 1208.

Gracie almost got me. However, on the last lap Paul Menard blew a tire and instead of finishing top 10, finished 30th, or she would have outscored me.

My results were pretty dismal thanks to Kasey Kahne having mechanical trouble. It's never a good sign when one of your drivers pulls off the track during lap 2. I scored 16 for him, 27 for Edwards, 41 for Earnhardt Jr., 42 for Biffle and 35 for Harvick for a total of 161 points. I dropped quite a bit to the 68.1 percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players and rank 144 out of 409 for the Ryan Newman league.

Human Versus Cat: Spring Segment Results

As promised, here are the results of the first 10 rounds for the NASCAR fantasy league on Fox. If you missed what led up to this, this post explains it.

First is Gracie's score sheet for her Team Threeeee. Note that there are 13 numbered races on the score sheet, but it starts with race 4, not race 1. That is because I did not have the idea for her to make picks until race 4 of the season. What is a good score for a race? Anything over 200 is pretty darn good, and over 150 is okay, in my opinion.

Now note race 9, the results underlined in purple: She placed in the 71.5 percentile of all NASCAR on Fox players and as you can see, her score of 185 for that race ranked her 8,505 from all players. How many total players were there? It's hard to tell. I've done some math by taking in consideration how many players appear in the individual leagues and I would say it's several tens of thousands at least. Not bad for random picks! See also that she scored once over 50 % and even her lowest was not lower than 7.8 percent. As you will see shortly, even I managed worse!

Here is my overview for the spring segment for Team Bloomin39. Note that for race 11 I placed in the 99 percentile with a score of 239 and placed 291 out of tens of thousands of players. I also scored over 200 points three times. Now note how I started off the season ... with dismal percentiles of 5.9 and 3.5. Even the cat never did this badly!

Human Versus Cat Round 10

Last weekend's race in Dover was the last for the 13-race spring segment for the NASCAR fantasy league we are playing. If you aren't sure what this is about, this previous post explains it. Gracie made her picks on the Friday before the race. Here they are:

99 Carl Edwards
10 Danica Patrick
5 Kasey Kahne
43 Aric Almirola
38 David Gilliland

Here is how she scored: 60 points for captain Edwards, 20 points for Patrick, 22 points for Kahne, 26 points for Almirola, and 7 points for David Gilliland for a total of 135 points for the race. This brings her up to the 41.7 percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players with a total score of 1,378 for 10 races. Remember that she did not play the first 3 weeks. In the Brad Keselowski league she finished 737 of 1,206.

My picks:

99 Carl Edwards (same as Gracie)
11 Denny Hamlin
42 Juan Pablo Montoya
29 Kevin Harvick
16 Greg Biffle

I scored 60 points for captain Edwards, 11 points for Hamlin, 43 points for Montoya, 37 points for Harvick and 29 points for Biffle and a total of 180 points for the race. This brings me up to the 72.6 percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players with a total score of 2,266 for all 13 races of the Spring segment. In the Ryan Newman league I jumped up to 116 of 408.

We will of course keep playing. The next summer segment consists of 13 races as well. Gracie and I will now be on equal footing as I did not think of having her do picks until race 4 of the season. Before the next race post, I will present a post with a complete summary for our spring segments. It looks very interesting, not just for me.

Human Versus Cat Round 9

Okay, so I am super late posting the results for the Coca Cola 600. If you don't know what this is about, this post explains it. Well, we had Cable problems and missed the race. And a good one it was. It even was interrupted by a freak incident that caused two red flags. Of course Gracie and I made our fantasy picks beforehand, but I was not very inspired to post the results, but here we go.

Gracie's picks

99 Carl Edwards
83 David Reutiman
48 Jimmie Johnson
18 Kyle Busch
43 Aric Almirola

Now, if you know anything about NASCAR you probably groaned when you read Reutiman's name, but probably thought that Carl, Jimmie and Kyle were safe bets. Surprise surprise, Reutiman actually ended up the second highest scorer with 23 and Kyle the lowest with 7. Jimmie only scored 22, Almirola 11, and Carl, her captain, a respectable 68.

Here is how it all came down: Gracie scored 131 points for this race and moved up to 39.4 percentile for all Nascar on Fox players. For the Brad Keselowski league she moved up to 763 out of 1202. As always, remember that her stats are skewed because she did not play the first 3 races of the season.

My picks:

16 Greg Biffle
11 Denny Hamlin
24 Jeff Gordon
78 Kurt Busch
99 Carl Edwards

All good names, right? Well, the Biff only scored me 26 (and remember that team captains get a double score). Hamlin scored 41, Jeff Gordon 9 (thanks a lot), Kurt Busch 42 (and to think I wanted to change him, but could not get to the computer in time to do so), and Carl Edwards 34. Why did Gracie get 68 for Edwards? Because she chose him as her captain.

While I totaled 152 points, I moved down to a 67.3 percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players with a total score of 3,086 points. I also dropped in the Newman league to 142 out of 407.

Human Versus Cat Round 8

Gracie made her picks the day before the May 11 Darlington NASCAR race.(If you do not know what this is about, this post explains it). It took her all afternoon. She did pick the captain quickly enough, but the others took some time.

Anyway, this is what she came up with:

22 (Joey Logano)
27 (Paul Menard)
39 (Ryan Newman)
32 (Timmy Hill)
34 (David Regan)

It seems that making new paper balls (to take the scent of the old ones) sort of worked, as she picked some different drivers. Alas, she picked Newman again, for the fourth time this season, which means she can't pick him again until the NASCAR of Fox fantasy league spring segment is over. Which should be soon.

And here are my picks. Yes, they are getting more difficult to make as I've maxed out several drivers too.

20 (Matt Kenseth)
11 (Denny Hamlin)
56 (Martin Truex)
78 (Kurt Busch)
48 (Jimmie Johnson)

The results

Gracie scored 44 points for Logano, 25 points for Menard, 34 points for Newman, 11 points for Hill and 5 points for Ragan. The latter was last week's race winner, which just shows you how fickle this sport is. Her total for the race was 119 points. She is ranked 778 out of 1,193 in the Brad Keselowski league and her percentile for all NASCAR on Fox players is 37.3. As always, keep in mind that she did not "play" for the first 3 races, so the stats are skewed.

As for myself, I am afraid I have to do some horn-tooting. I picked the winner and second place driver as well as the fourth finisher. My worst finishing driver ended up 14th (Kurt Busch). I also found a new screen that tells you how your percentile and rank went for all NASCAR on Fox players, not just the league finish. I'll get to that in a bit, after I tally up:

94 points for the race winner (Kenseth), 42 for Hamlin, 32 for Truex, 31 for Kurt Busch and 40 for Jimmie Johnson for a total of 239 points. That, my folks, placed me 291 out of all NASCAR on Fox players with a 99 percentile for this race (which bumps my all-around percentage for the spring segment to 70.8). How many players are there? It says 9,999+, but I am guessing it's way more than 10,000. Maybe even closer to 100,000? I'd like to find out, that is for sure. As far as my rankings go for the Ryan Newman league I am now 123 out of 404.

Human Versus Cat Round 7

As I said in last week's post, we had to make new paper balls for Gracie so she could make her picks for the Talladega Race. (If you do not know what this is about, this post explains it). We were hoping that it would remove the scent on her "favorites," having picked two drivers four times already, which is the maximum allowed for the NASCAR on Fox fantasy league.

Her are the five numbered paper balls (drivers) she chose, and yes, she actually picked some different numbers this time around.Although, she was a little hesitant at first. I guess she was confused by the black Sharpie smell (from when I wrote the numbers on the papers). Prior papers were numbered with ink pen, but it was hard to read those after uncrinkling the paper balls.

51 (Regan Smith)
5 (Kasey Kahne)
98 (Michael McDowell)
48 (Jimmie Johnson)
11 (Brian Vickers/Denny Hamlin) The reason I listed two drivers is because Denny Hamlin was injured during a prior race and Brian Vickers is his relief driver.

If you follow NASCAR, you know that Talladega is one of only two restrictor plate tracks and because of the nature of the racing there, just about anyone has a shot at winning.

That made it difficult for me to make my picks as picking winners for a restrictor plate race is somewhat of a crap shoot. Here are my picks:

88 (Dale Earnhardt Jr.)
27 (Paul Menard)
99 (Carl Edwards)
55 (Michael Waltrip)
1 (Jamie McMurray)

The results

I am really annoyed with this week's result because they shorted Gracie by points. See, when I selected the 11 car for the lineup it would not let me choose Denny Hamlin for it as it said "not entered," even though he started the race and earned the points. So, I selected Brian Vickers. Here is what happened during the race: At the first caution Denny got out and let Brian Vickers finish the race. Yet, Gracie got 0 points. Not fair, as Brian Vickers  was the only selection they allowed for the 11 car. I am really mad about this, but what can I do. Anyway, here is how it all played out:

Gracie scored 76 for Regan Smith, 2 for Kasey Kahne, 23 for Michael McDowell and 40 for Jimmie Johnson for a total of 141 points. She moved up in rankings for the sub league to 783 out of 1188 with a 35.9 percentage of all Fox players. Remember that her stats are skewed because she did not participate in this during the first three races of the season.

I scored 54 points for Dale Jr., 19 points for Paul Menard, 42 points for Carl Edwards, 40 points for Michael Waltrip and 22 points for Jamie McMurray for a total of 177 points. I moved up in rankings for the sub league to 163 out of 401 with a 62.3 percentage of all Fox players.

Human Versus Cat Round 6

Many of you have wondered how exactly The Princess makes her car number picks for the NASCAR fantasy league. (If you do not know what this is about, this post explains it). So Tom took a video of Gracie and as you can see, her "pick box" has a new paint scheme too. The video is only two minutes long, so no need to run out for popcorn or adult beverages, but I find it very entertaining.

We will also have to do some additional work. As you can see by Gracie's picks below she seems to go for the same numbers over and over, despite mixing them up real well. We wonder if it is because her scent is on certain paper balls. So next week we will have a whole new set of papers for her to work with. It will be interesting to see if she will still pick the same ones.

She is very partial to the number 3. A lot of her picks either have the digit 3 as part of the car number, can add up to 3, or divide by 3. It's fitting as her team name is Threeeee. I will post more on that in the following weeks. Also, she picks the Stewart/Haas team drivers (Tony [#14]  and Ryan [#39]) a lot ... except for Danica Patrick (#10). Even the cat knows not to pick her! Although, Tony hasn't exactly been hot either. Who knew that Newman (my favorite but not exactly a top driver) would out-perform his boss so far? Yes, I digress.

So, without further ado, here are Gracie's picks for the Richmond race:

31 (Jeff Burton)
93 (Travis Kvapil)
15 (Clint Boyer)
39 (Ryan Newman)
14 (Tony Stewart)

And here are my picks for the Bloomin39 team:

15 (Clint Boyer)
11 (Brian Vickers)
20 (Matt Kenseth)
5 (Kasey Kahne)
29 (Kevin Harvick)

Here are the results:

Gracie scored 80 points for Jeff Burton, 7 points for Travis Kvapil, 43 points for Clint Boyer, 29 points for Ryan Newman and 26 points for Tony Stewart for a total of 185 points. She shot up to 32.1 percent for all Nascar of Fox fantasy players and is now ranked 840 out of 1,177 Brad Keselowski fans. That is a huge jump! Not bad for not playing for the first three races.

I scored 86 points for Clint Boyer, 9 points for Brian Vickers, 39 points for Matt Kenseth, 23 points for Kasey Kahne, and 47 points for Kevin Harvick (who won the race) for a total of 204 points. I am now ranked 203 out of 399 (a slow climb up) and a percentile of 55.1 for all Nascar on Fox players (bigger jump).

Human Versus Cat Round 5

Gracie made her picks for the NASCAR race in Kansas on April 18, the day of the huge flooding which came after the record-setting storms. (If you do not know what I am talking about, this explains the NASCAR kitty story). We had spent a pretty  much sleepless night because of the strong storms. Of course Gracie slept as storms do not bother her. She actually watched a hurricane from a window sill before, but that is another story.

I had taken the box with numbers out on Thursday morning and set it on the bedroom floor, figuring she would deal with picking the drivers when ready. I had just settled in bed to try to catch up on some well-needed rest when Gracie started scratching in the box, mixing her numbers, and scooping some out. Yes, the pics are blurry because she was pretty vigorous about mixing them up. Regardless, she picked some of the same drivers again that she chose for prior races. How strange.

Here are Gracie's picks:

36 (JJ Yeley)
39 (Ryan Newman)
31 (Jeff Burton)
14 (Tony Stewart)
13 (Casey Mears)

And here are my picks:

18 (Kyle Busch)
56 (Martin Truex)
43 (Aric Almirola)
5 (Kasey Kahne)
15 (Clint Boyer)

Gracie's results:

Gracie scored 18, 31, 26, 23, and 10 points, respectively, for a race total of 108. Who knew that Ryan Newman would be her highest scoring driver? While he is my favorite driver, I won't ever pick him as I am a realist. Well, I picked him once and he finished a dismal 40th or so. That taught me.

Her new points total is 667 and despite the terrible captain's pick (JJ is a nice guy, I've met him, but he drives sub-par equipment), her percentage for all NASCAR of Fox players jumped to 15.6. She even improved her ranking in the sub-league (fans of Brad Keselowski) by 3 to 1045 out of 1168. It makes me wonder what humans with NASCAR knowledge choose for their picks!

As always, keep in mind that Gracie did not play the first three races, so her stats are skewed when compared to the whole season.

My results:

I picked four top ten finishers (2nd, 4th, 5th and 8th), but Kyle Busch, my team captain, ruined my points by finishing 38th. I managed a respectable total of 170 (12+41+36+42+39), clawing my way up by four spots in the Ryan Newman fan league for a rank of 229/396. My combined score for all races is 1,314, which means I also gained a little in overall percentage from all NASCAR of Fox players with a total of 48.4 percent.

Sorry, Gracie, Mom won this round.

Human Versus Cat Round 4

Gracie made her fantasy picks for today's NASCAR race in Texas on Friday morning. (If you don't know what I am talking about, this explains it). Well, at first we tried Thursday night, but she showed no interest in it. Even Friday morning, as you can tell by the picture above, she was not as enthusiastic as last week.

So, I dumped all the paper balls out on the floor. That got her going. You might wonder if she did not just bat them all, or several, around at once. Actually, no. The first four she picked one by one, only with the fifth numbered ball did she go kind of crazy. I waited until one "driver" was singled out, then we picked that one.

Here is what Gracie picked:

34 (David Ragan)
56 (Martin Truex)
15 (Clint Boyer)
14 (Tony Stewart)
31 (Jeff Burton)

The interesting thing is that I mentioned David Ragan in an article I finished for a client the night before. Unfortunately, the poor guy has no chance of winning the race for the princess. We are also starting to see a pattern with Gracie's picks ... I will tell you about it in the following weeks.

Gracie scored 38, 43, 29, 23, 21 respectively. She got the second place right, Martin Truex. Despite that, she did not beat me, but it was a respectable showing. She scored 154 points for this race for a percentage of 11.5 overall with a total season score of 559. In her league (fans of Brad Keselowski) she ranks 1048 out of 1156. As always, remember that she missed the first three races, so the stats are skewed.

Here were my picks: (no, no photo of me)

16 (Greg Biffle)
24 (Jeff Gordon
99 (Carl Edwards)
20 (Matt Kenseth)
88 (Dale Earnhardt Jr)

My scores were 80, 7, 41, 32, 15 respectively (I only picked two drivers in the top ten, Greg Biffle and Carl Edwards) for a total of 175 points. That bumps my percentage to 47.1 with a total score of 1144 and I am ranked 233 out of 393 of my league (Ryan Newman fans).

Human Versus Cat Round 3

 As you can see above, Gracie really got into making her picks for the Martinsville Nascar race. (If you don't know what I am talking about, read this post). Here they are:

56 (Martin Truex)
99 (Carl Edwards)
27 (Paul Menard)
33 (Landon Cassill)
38 (David Gilliland)

Here are my picks:

24 (Jeff Gordon)
55 (Brian Vickers)
42 (Juan Pablo Montoya)
2 (Brad Keselowski)
48 (Jimmie Johnson)

She scored 8, 29, 25, 11, and 16 respectively for a total of 89 points. Poor kitty. She would have done better, but her team captain, Martin Truex, finished third-last. Carl Edwards came in 9th and Paul Menard 16th. All three drivers were not bad choices, they just had some bad luck.

She is ranked 1025 out of 1141 for her individual league (fans of Brad Keselowski) and at a 10.4 percentile. As I say every week: Remember that she missed the first two races (because I did not think to have her play until the third race), so the stats are skewed.

I scored 82, 33, 18, 38, and 48 respectively for a total of 219 points. Four out of my five picks placed top ten, among those the winner (Jimmie Johnson). I am now ranked 232 out of 391 for my individual league (fans of Ryan Newman) and am at the 44.3 percentile of all Nascar on Fox players.

Since Gracie won round two and I won round one, the score is now 2:1 for me. How will next week turn out? Stay tuned!

Human Versus Cat Round 2

When Gracie made her Nascar fantasy picks for the California race, she really got into it. She actually made them early, on Tuesday March 19. Why? Well, she seemed in what we call psycho kitty mood, so we brought out the box with the numbered paper balls.

She actually stood in front of the box (it's not that big, I'll have to post a pic of it at a later date) and put her paw in it, mixing the paper balls vigorously. Then she scooped out one paper which we used as team captain. She then dumped the box on its side and we took the four balls that rolled out for the next four picks. The top 5 she came up with were: Jeff Burton, Tony Stewart, Jamie McMurray, Jimmie Johnson and Ryan Newman. I picked Clint Boyer (Captain), Kyle Busch, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Mark Martin and Jimmie Johnson.

The cat actually beat me today, despite me picking the winner of the race (Kyle Busch) because two out of my top 5 blew up (literally). Gracie scored 168 points to my 147 points. Good job, Gracie! Here is the rundown:

Gracie

Car 31: 54 points
Car 14: 23 points
Car 1: 25 points
Car 48: 32 points
Car 39: 34 points

She is now ranked 996 out of 1112 in her league and has a 9.9 percentile over all. Remember that she only played 2 races out of 5, hence the skewed stats.

Me

Car 15: 18 points
Car 18:  48 points
Car 88: 42 points
Car 55: 7 points
Car 48: 32 points

I am ranked a dismal 258 out of 388 thanks to my awful Daytona picks for the season-opener. My percentile is 32. I played all games, so my percentage is higher.

Human Versus Cat Round 1

Remember when I posted about my cat making NASCAR fantasy picks? Well, here are the results for the race on March 17 in Bristol:

Gracie

Car 13: 58 points
Car 15: 39 points
Car 42: 14 points
Car 33: 11 points
Car 99: 26 points

For a total of 148 points and rank #1000 out of 1068 and a 6.5 percentile. That is not bad, considering this was race 4 of the season and her points are counted against all others who played all races.

Me

Car 18: 86 points
Car 20: 10 points
Car 11: 23 points
Car 24: 11 points
Car 75: 41 points

For a total of 171 points and rank #283 out of 380 and a 25 percentile.

Human Versus Cat

I've been playing Nascar fantasy leagues for a few years now. I like to think that I know the sport as I even won tickets to a race once for having the highest score on a local radio league for a race. However, I started out so badly this year and made the comment that my cat could have done better. That is when I came up with the crazy idea of letting Princess Gracie make picks for real.

So, I signed her up for the same league I play at the time through Nascar on Fox. After all, if a groundhog is used as a weatherman, chickens pick super bowl winners, and John Roberts' dog can make picks ... If you don't follow the sport, John R. is a Nascar analyst who actually did have his dog made some picks last year.

We wrote each driver's name on a piece of paper, balled it up, and put them in a box. What cat can resist boxes? Sure enough, Gracie investigated quickly enough and the first 5 that come out is what I used for the first fantasy picks. These were 13 (Casey Mears), 99 (Carl Edwards), 15 (Clint Boyer), 42 (Juan Pablo Montoya) and 33 (Landon Cassill).

Her user name is Nascat3 and her team name is Threeeee because when we say the word threeeee it means treats. So, it's her favorite number. Why did we come up with this? Because treats are kept in our kitchen drawer number 3, so when she sits in front of it, we ask: "Do you want threeeee?" Animal lovers will get it .... All others may think we are nuts, but a little insanity makes life interesting. Also, 3 is the number of Tom's favorite driver, the late Dale Earnhardt, and you can never go wrong with that.

No, I do not drink, I came up with this while stone sober!

PS: Gracie also has a twitter account: follow her @GraciePurrs

Gracie's Journey

A lot of you are eagerly awaiting my travel journals for my recent move from Richmond to Chicago. While I took notes at the end of the day each and had WiFi in each of the three hotel rooms during the 4 day journey, I had not anticipated how draining the trip would really be. Also, we have pictures, but due to some technical difficulties and other circumstances at the moment they will have to wait before being uploaded and published.

However, since The Princess rules, I will share her experience as to placate the cat lovers and to give a glimpse into our travels for  the  rest of the  readers.

About 2 weeks before the trip I had trained Gracie to wear a harness. Like the good cat she is, she adapted quickly, despite a rough start. A friend also recommended an herbal sedative that her vet suggested as a safe alternative for a tranquilizer. I put some drops on her dinner (wet cat food) the  night before to see if she would balk at the taste and how they would affect her.

She ate the food without complaints and the drops relaxed her, but did not put her all the way to sleep, something I wanted to avoid. I only wanted to keep her calm, not make her all loopy.

When it was time to leave the following day, I put some drops on cat treats, put them in the cage to associate the metal carrier with a pleasant experience, and she ate those without complaint. We took the cage of course, but decided to let her roam free in the car to see if she would sit on my lap or on a blanket for the trip. I am not suggesting that for everyone as all cats are different and it’s dangerous business—imagine a cat jumping on the gas pedal while driving down the highway—but the Princess is a good cat.

Day 1: Initially, she meowed for about half an hour and yes, she did make a trip to the floor boards between Tom’s feet, but we coaxed her out. She eventually settled on my lap for most of the first day. We stopped after the first 80 miles and put a leash on her in the car on the harness she was wearing and Tom held on tightly to make sure she would not dart out while I opened the car door. 

All went well, and after another 100 miles we were at our first overnight stop. The hotel room was spacious enough for her to not feel cramped and had a window with a sill large enough for her to use. I was afraid she would dart under the King-size bed, but she did not. We set up a makeshift litter box in the hotel room, but she did not want to use it. 

I was afraid she would meow all night, but she surprised me again and was fairly quiet, despite a 4 am thunderstorm.

Day 2: The next morning we repeated the ritual of harness on, treats with drops, put in cage, put in car, close car doors, let cat out. This time she mostly settled on the blanket between the driver and passenger seat, cool and calm as can be.

I was concerned that she had not yet relieved herself, so we stopped at a rest stop in Pennsylvania and Tom took her, harnessed and leashed of course, to the grassy pet area. That frightened her more than anything, so we put her back in the car and I gave her treats and praises to calm her down.

And this was a longer trip: 277 miles with mountain grades and pouring rain for 100 miles (luckily not while driving through the mountains). We had another nice hotel room with a proper window for her and space to roam around. This time we put more litter in the box and she made up for lost time, much to my relief as well.

Day 3: She knew what was coming and once again cooperated and of course I had given her treats and drops in the morning, but less than before. This time Tom got more lap time from her. She even looked out the windows, just like a dog would. The windows were safely up of course.

The hotel room at the end of the 200 mile journey leg was a little smaller this time, but still had a good window and by now she was a pro.

Day 4: Even though we were stuck in Chicago city traffic, she was still calm. We arrived at our temporary final destination, an extended stay hotel, and she now has 2 windows with super-wide sills at her disposal. She even gets to watch planes approach Chicago O’Hare, but is not bothered by them at all. I guess motorcycle night at my old place prepared her for noise.

Yes, Gracie is an awesome cat and this just confirms it even more. I can’t wait to give her the final home she so much deserves.

Harnessing the Princess

No, this is not about restraining Kate Middleton's breasts. I don't think she is a princess yet anyway. This is about trying to train Princess Gracie, my cat (now there is a real princess!) to use a harness in preparation for a long journey.

Now, I've had plenty of cats in my life and they always wore collars, but Gracie was the exception. I had one on her, until she caught her jaw in it while grooming herself. I know to not keep the collar too loose, but she is very flexible, too flexible at times, it seems. It was a bad experience, I was lucky that I saw it and that she let me help her out of it. Since then I have not forced her to wear one.

Anyway, with the long trip looming a friend suggested a harness. It arrived today and I had done some research prior on how to get a cat used to it. The advice given was to place the harness next to the cat's sleeping place for a few days, I guess so kitty can get used to it.

Well, the Princess would have none of that. She attacked it, put it in her mouth and tried killing it. When she was about to drag the thing under the bed, never to be retrieved by me, I snatched it just in time. Obviously, this was not going to do.

It was close to her dinner time, and that gave me an idea. Whenever I get her dish ready, she jumps on the bathroom sink, while I give it a final cleaning, and supervises. So, since nothing deters her from that, I used that time to put the harness on. The package said "one size fits all," so I was not concerned. There was lots of room on the neck and I snapped it in place and adjusted. So far so good. Now the second part, to affix it behind the front legs. Well, I had to adjust the buckle to the maximum girth ... Yes, Gracie definitely needs more exercise.

I gave Gracie her dinner, but she started rolling on the floor, trying to get the harness off, despite my continued efforts to soothe her. I knew from my research this was supposed to be expected. She ate a little bit, but then she started freaking out, biting at the harness. Then she ran under the bed.

It was obvious she did not trust me anymore. Remembering the incident where she got her jaw caught, I was trying to coax her out from under the bed. I did not want her unsupervised. I finally got her out, then she hid under the chair. I tossed some toys, and finally she started playing. I removed the harness and she went back to her normal self. We lasted a whole 15 minutes, if that.

Regardless, tomorrow I will have to put it on again, as I need her harnessed so I can put a leash on her. Articles also suggest using treats for rewards, but I try to leave them as a last resort. After all, one size fits all does have its limits, in a cat's world as much as the human world, and it would not do for her to outgrow the harness before we can even use it. And we haven't even gotten to the leash part yet ...