About Alexandra Heep

Alexandra Heep is a longtime writer, chronic over-thinker, and recovering content mill survivor. Her work has appeared in literary journals, anthologies, and online platforms where words are still respected. She writes children’s books, health reflections, and the occasional blog post laced with humor and hard-won honesty. After years of illness, detours, and navigating the noise of modern wellness, she returned to writing with the firm belief that stories—like people—don’t have to be perfect to matter. She publishes under multiple pen names and drinks more goat milk than you’d expect.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Art of Saying Sorry

Recently, I talked about reading a book called "Talk to the Hand" that deals with rudeness and the decline of use of simple phrases like saying "thank you" and "I am sorry." While I agree with the former, I think the opposite is true for the latter.

No, I find that the words "I am sorry" are bandied about carelessly. Yes, we are supposed to forgive someone when they are sorry. However, saying I am sorry and understanding what to be sorry for and really feeling it are two different things.

Also, saying "I am sorry" and then shortly after doing the same thing again that the person apologized for in the first place is abusing the phrase, in my opinion. Saying "I am sorry you feel that way" is just as bad. To me that translates to something like "I am right, and it's your fault that you are feeling disappointed or hurt by my action."

I'd rather have a person think about something for a while, then explain why they are sorry and then apologize. That beats a quick, careless "sorry," anytime. That, in my opinion, is the key to the offended party to really get over the issue, instead of dragging it out again and again .







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2 comments:

Conny said...

You read the book Alex? I thought it was hilarious in places.

August 11, 2012 at 1:55 AM
Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Totally agree with you on "I am sorry you feel that way" because a co-worker of mine used to say that all the time. And what it really means is "I'm sorry you don't see it my way or agree with me. Your problem not mine." It is NOT an apology.

August 11, 2012 at 11:25 AM

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