Tips for Keeping the Romance Alive

In order to keep romance alive in a marriage (or other long-term relationship) both partners have to be willing to invest time and effort.

In the beginning both partners make an effort to get the other person to notice them. This is usually done through frequent romantic gestures. These gestures can include poetry, romantic e-mails and text messages, little trinkets bought just because; as well as making time for the other person and pursuing them. Candle-lit dinners with wine and champagne are often part of the initial dating process.

Once both partners get used to each other and they know they are now a couple, the activities of pursuit usually cease to exist. Sometimes one partner wants to keep these things going, but he or she is afraid to communicate that need. This could be because he or she is afraid of coming across as too aggressive, since they now captured the object of the hunt. So they just pretend everything is fine, yet deep down they long for the romance.

How do we keep this romance from dying out? In a way it is like a game. Even though one partner may not say that he or she still misses the feeling of the pursuit, both people who are in love with each other usually long for keeping the romance going. The challenge lies in finding new ways to re-create this romance. The ways that attracted one person to the other have now become routine.

While romantic dinners at first were a way to get to know one another, they now seem to have served their purpose. The key is to be creative and come up with new ways to show your affection and how much you want your partner. Usually people have ideas, but they don't want to try them out, for fear of looking silly.

Some simple ideas could be picking flowers and cooking creative meals at home while creating a romantic setting. A walk in the park hand in hand does not cost anything. Neither does watching a sunset or the stars in your back yard.

How about a picnic in front of a fire place? If you don't have a fireplace or don't think your home  is particularly conducive to romance, rent a hotel room or cabin for a weekend. Enroll in a class together; perhaps enjoy something artistic like learning how to paint. Just listening to music together with only candles for lighting costs nothing and can be romantic also.

These are just a few ideas to build on. The most important factor is to take the initiative, or make your wishes known. Sometimes one person is waiting for the other to make the first move; and vice versa. In time, things just turn to routine as both people think the other is not interested in romance anymore. Don't be afraid to experiment, and don't think you will look foolish for making an effort. Your partner, if he or she is the right person to be with, will love you even more for it.