About Alexandra Heep:

Alexandra Heep is a longtime writer, chronic over-thinker, and recovering content mill survivor. Her work has appeared in literary journals, anthologies, and online platforms where words are still respected. She writes children’s books, health reflections, and the occasional blog post laced with humor and hard-won honesty. After years of illness, detours, and navigating the noise of modern wellness, she returned to writing with the firm belief that stories—like people—don’t have to be perfect to matter. She publishes under multiple pen names and drinks more goat milk than you’d expect.

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Happy Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day


Since today, January 22, is Answer Your Cat's Questions Day, let's begin with a very brief (and slightly smug) history of cats

Cats have been quietly running the world for a very long time.

Thousands of years ago, humans noticed that certain small, elegant creatures hung around grain stores and solved a very annoying mouse problem. Cats noticed that humans were warm, predictable, and easily trained with eye contact. An agreement was reached. Humans called it “domestication.” Cats called it a favorable housing arrangement.

In ancient times, cats were revered—sometimes worshipped, sometimes mummified, always admired. Later, during darker centuries, they were misunderstood, blamed for things they absolutely did not do, and still managed to survive by being faster, smarter, and more judgmental than everyone else.

By the Victorian era, cats had reclaimed their rightful place: lounging dramatically, inspiring art, and reminding humans that affection is best given sparingly and on feline terms.

Today, cats occupy their most powerful role yet: household supervisor, emotional barometer, and unpaid but relentless quality-control manager of human behavior.

Which brings us to today.

Enter: Princess Gracie 🐾

(tail flicks, blinks slowly)

Gracie:
Before we proceed, I have questions.

Question 1:
Why do humans sit down and then immediately get up again?

Answer:
Because we forgot something. Again. Probably coffee. Or the thing we stood up to do in the first place.

Gracie:
Unacceptable. Sitting should be final.

Question 2:
Why do you close doors when you know I exist?

Answer:
We are weak and briefly delusional about privacy.

Gracie:
Correct. Continue learning.

Question 3:
Why do you talk to me like I’m a baby, yet expect me to respect your authority?

Answer:
Because you are cute, and we are confused.

Gracie:
At least you’re honest.

Question 4:
Why do you buy toys when the real treasure is clearly the box?

Answer:
Because we are trying. That’s all we can say.

Gracie:
Noted. Try less. Observe more.

Question 5:
Why do you stop petting me right when it becomes perfect?

Answer:
Because we misread the moment.

Gracie:
Yes. You always do.

At this point, Princess takes over the blog

I have allowed the human to answer enough questions for today.

Let me clarify a few things for the record:

  • I am not “just sitting.” I am monitoring energy flow.

  • I am not staring at nothing. I am watching things you are not qualified to perceive.

  • I knock objects off surfaces to test gravity. It remains consistent.

  • If I sleep near you, it is because you are warm and mildly acceptable. Do not become arrogant.

You may think you adopted me.
This is incorrect.

I arrived, assessed the situation, and stayed.

Today is Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day, but understand this:
Tomorrow is Do Better Without Being Asked Day.

Now if you’ll excuse me,
I must nap dramatically in a sunbeam
and dream of a world
where doors are never closed
and petting is flawless.

— Princess: (Yes, my mom drew the royal portrait of me for this blog post).
✨ End of blog. Feed me. ✨

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